I've Seen Him Do It- Eyitayo Adesuyi
Words alone can never fully express what a woman who desires a child and does not yet have one daily experiences. From society-especially our African society, “well wishers ” who have been checking out her abdomen since a few weeks after her wedding day, members of her place of worship and from Satan-the Accuser, who, at every opportunity taunts her and challenges her very faith in the God of Heaven.
Where do I start? Which part can I summarize??... I can only pray that what I say in this short space will encourage and give hope to a woman still in this great and challenging school.
In the Beginning: My husband and I matriculated into the ‘school of delay’, unknown to us on our wedding day; amid the usual wedding celebrations, and we remained in this school for 11 years. Initially, we just believed God casually since we expected that children will come in due course, but after three years and “no show”, we knew that this was war and this war began to challenge EVERYTHING we ever knew of God and of His Word.
The Crucible: While waiting, I experienced a variety of things from believers and non believers, friends and foes alike. ‘Concerned’ family friends questioned and commented whenever they got the chance. Even people we were not close took it upon themselves to make remarks, and some, hurtful and insensitive comments. Many times I was driven to tears upon returning home. At other times, I thanked them and reminded God of His promises in the place of prayer.
The Sword of Words: Those words always had an impact on me even when I felt I didn’t dwell upon them. I remember the time someone whose child I was playing with came and said “you are using my child to practice“, as though everyone in my nuclear and extended family had no children; or another person who, seeing me laughing and relaxed at a friend’s party called me aside and said: “is it that you have never been pregnant or you are losing the pregnancies??” ; totally wiping out my laughter that day. This affected our relationships and visits with a number of people we felt were insensitive. “Reckless words truly pierce like a sword”.
Pillars of Support: I will ever be grateful for the pillars of support God surrounded us with, in spite of some of the negative and hurtful comments; particularly, my senior Pastor, Alex Adegboye. He and his wife stood with my husband and me every step of the way. He would come to our home many times to pray , organized special all night sessions and was ever available to give me support as a friend, father and man of God. Many times when I was totally fed up, felt forgotten and discouraged, he, sensing it would call, visit or somehow just gently draw me out of the pit of despondency Satan wanted me to remain in.
I also can never forget how some pastor friends would call and pray with us, and even visit. Some people would make their homes available just for us to come and spend time in without any questioning, send a small note now and then, letting us know that they were praying for us, visit and invite to social functions just to help take our minds off the situation. Some would just hug me so warmly while others regularly lifted my husband and me up during the family altars in their home. I will ever be thankful for the children of some friends who would send Mother’s Day greetings every year, and all the helpful resources that equipped us.
In the years of waiting, what did I learn?
Only God can heal the pain of a waiting woman: My loving and supportive husband would encourage me, protect, and stand beside me at social functions especially family events, do many things to distract and occupy me. My “three parents”, through the heartache prayed and encouraged us endlessly. Family members and friends who have become family were of immense support. They fasted, went out for many altar calls on our behalf and kept on standing in faith with us. They never treated us differently but always involved us in all ceremonies and functions. They believed with us that it was just a matter of time. But the pain of a waiting woman can only really be comforted by God with the answer to her prayers.
God will always give you a Word, a Song in the Night, and the Comfort of His Presence: God spoke to us through the most unlikely means at times. I guess because He had spoken through normal means a times and we refused to hear due to the contrary things that threatened our faith in God. When we were confused, He made things clear to us. Many times we would hear someone preach or just exhort and one sentence would “jump at us” out of all that was being said. Sometimes an instruction would come and we will “hear” a totally different message from what the preacher was focusing on.
God spoke through songs and I always drew great comfort and strength in songs like: “Hear my cry O Lord, Attend Unto My Prayer”, I’ll trust you Lord” and “Wait on the Lord” , Mercy said No[i], and a whole lot of others. Not many ever really saw me, but many a time I would weep sorely in my closet. But then the atmosphere of His presence was so soothing and enabling during my period of waiting… many times I no words could express what I was feeling or going through. But God was my stay, my comfort and my Strong Tower. He held me together when I thought I would fall apart.
Don’t give in to pressure: We learnt to hear Him ourselves and differentiate His leading from pressures to just “do something”. We did not go for every altar call or every meeting. Sometimes I felt not to go so didn’t. I remember one of the days I was particularly so despondent. As I drove, I saw the poster of a well known preacher having a programme for women who wanted children. I parked the car thinking, ” ah maybe I should go there o…perhaps God would use the Ministry to deliver me from my situation”. Alas, as I opened the door to come out and get details of the programme from the poster, I heard almost as clearly as though someone was behind me speaking to me: “I have not sent you there”. I was startled! So I quickly re entered the car and headed home. Now I became” annoyed”. Since I hadn’t yet seen my expectation manifest, why wasn’t I allowed to go seek help from men of God who were said to be “specialists” in that area?? But God sees what is hidden and secret.
I never had a release to go there or to so many other places people told us about where waiting women were literarily “given their desires”. So even when people would come in their concern trying to make us to do things or go to places, God was with us and would make things clear so we could say no and not end up in places where more problems would have been added to our lives.
Seeking Medical Help is not Anti-Faith: God helped us understand that medical doctors and medical science was not anti faith or contrary to the Bible. He gave the knowledge and He ALONE can make things work. May God bless medical personnel especially in this field. A waiting woman will see them at some point and eventually when her answer comes and she will graduate out of the school of delay. I believe it is very important to have the ones you are comfortable and at peace with and the best you can afford as per medical attention and options. God can work and has definitely many times worked through all things to accomplish His purpose.
God WILL Do it: Through the pain, shame and hard times during the 11years we spent in “the school of delay”, God proved Himself over and over again until our miracle child came in the 12th year. Our hearts were and are still filled with joy and gladness at His mercy and faithfulness. Indeed “by God have we run through a troop; and by my God have I leaped over a wall”.
In Conclusion: Delay will challenge every word you have ever heard about God-directly or preached through someone. But Jehovah is greater than delay. God Himself will in mercy answer every woman still waiting. I’ve seen Him do it.
Eyitayo Adesuyi is a Lawyer with a practice based in Ibadan
[i] Hear my cry” (Hossanah Integrity),” I’ll trust you Lord” and “Wait on the Lord” ( Live in London and We all are One albums by Donnie McCurlkin), Mercy said No (Cece Winans)
Where do I start? Which part can I summarize??... I can only pray that what I say in this short space will encourage and give hope to a woman still in this great and challenging school.
In the Beginning: My husband and I matriculated into the ‘school of delay’, unknown to us on our wedding day; amid the usual wedding celebrations, and we remained in this school for 11 years. Initially, we just believed God casually since we expected that children will come in due course, but after three years and “no show”, we knew that this was war and this war began to challenge EVERYTHING we ever knew of God and of His Word.
The Crucible: While waiting, I experienced a variety of things from believers and non believers, friends and foes alike. ‘Concerned’ family friends questioned and commented whenever they got the chance. Even people we were not close took it upon themselves to make remarks, and some, hurtful and insensitive comments. Many times I was driven to tears upon returning home. At other times, I thanked them and reminded God of His promises in the place of prayer.
The Sword of Words: Those words always had an impact on me even when I felt I didn’t dwell upon them. I remember the time someone whose child I was playing with came and said “you are using my child to practice“, as though everyone in my nuclear and extended family had no children; or another person who, seeing me laughing and relaxed at a friend’s party called me aside and said: “is it that you have never been pregnant or you are losing the pregnancies??” ; totally wiping out my laughter that day. This affected our relationships and visits with a number of people we felt were insensitive. “Reckless words truly pierce like a sword”.
Pillars of Support: I will ever be grateful for the pillars of support God surrounded us with, in spite of some of the negative and hurtful comments; particularly, my senior Pastor, Alex Adegboye. He and his wife stood with my husband and me every step of the way. He would come to our home many times to pray , organized special all night sessions and was ever available to give me support as a friend, father and man of God. Many times when I was totally fed up, felt forgotten and discouraged, he, sensing it would call, visit or somehow just gently draw me out of the pit of despondency Satan wanted me to remain in.
I also can never forget how some pastor friends would call and pray with us, and even visit. Some people would make their homes available just for us to come and spend time in without any questioning, send a small note now and then, letting us know that they were praying for us, visit and invite to social functions just to help take our minds off the situation. Some would just hug me so warmly while others regularly lifted my husband and me up during the family altars in their home. I will ever be thankful for the children of some friends who would send Mother’s Day greetings every year, and all the helpful resources that equipped us.
In the years of waiting, what did I learn?
Only God can heal the pain of a waiting woman: My loving and supportive husband would encourage me, protect, and stand beside me at social functions especially family events, do many things to distract and occupy me. My “three parents”, through the heartache prayed and encouraged us endlessly. Family members and friends who have become family were of immense support. They fasted, went out for many altar calls on our behalf and kept on standing in faith with us. They never treated us differently but always involved us in all ceremonies and functions. They believed with us that it was just a matter of time. But the pain of a waiting woman can only really be comforted by God with the answer to her prayers.
God will always give you a Word, a Song in the Night, and the Comfort of His Presence: God spoke to us through the most unlikely means at times. I guess because He had spoken through normal means a times and we refused to hear due to the contrary things that threatened our faith in God. When we were confused, He made things clear to us. Many times we would hear someone preach or just exhort and one sentence would “jump at us” out of all that was being said. Sometimes an instruction would come and we will “hear” a totally different message from what the preacher was focusing on.
God spoke through songs and I always drew great comfort and strength in songs like: “Hear my cry O Lord, Attend Unto My Prayer”, I’ll trust you Lord” and “Wait on the Lord” , Mercy said No[i], and a whole lot of others. Not many ever really saw me, but many a time I would weep sorely in my closet. But then the atmosphere of His presence was so soothing and enabling during my period of waiting… many times I no words could express what I was feeling or going through. But God was my stay, my comfort and my Strong Tower. He held me together when I thought I would fall apart.
Don’t give in to pressure: We learnt to hear Him ourselves and differentiate His leading from pressures to just “do something”. We did not go for every altar call or every meeting. Sometimes I felt not to go so didn’t. I remember one of the days I was particularly so despondent. As I drove, I saw the poster of a well known preacher having a programme for women who wanted children. I parked the car thinking, ” ah maybe I should go there o…perhaps God would use the Ministry to deliver me from my situation”. Alas, as I opened the door to come out and get details of the programme from the poster, I heard almost as clearly as though someone was behind me speaking to me: “I have not sent you there”. I was startled! So I quickly re entered the car and headed home. Now I became” annoyed”. Since I hadn’t yet seen my expectation manifest, why wasn’t I allowed to go seek help from men of God who were said to be “specialists” in that area?? But God sees what is hidden and secret.
I never had a release to go there or to so many other places people told us about where waiting women were literarily “given their desires”. So even when people would come in their concern trying to make us to do things or go to places, God was with us and would make things clear so we could say no and not end up in places where more problems would have been added to our lives.
Seeking Medical Help is not Anti-Faith: God helped us understand that medical doctors and medical science was not anti faith or contrary to the Bible. He gave the knowledge and He ALONE can make things work. May God bless medical personnel especially in this field. A waiting woman will see them at some point and eventually when her answer comes and she will graduate out of the school of delay. I believe it is very important to have the ones you are comfortable and at peace with and the best you can afford as per medical attention and options. God can work and has definitely many times worked through all things to accomplish His purpose.
God WILL Do it: Through the pain, shame and hard times during the 11years we spent in “the school of delay”, God proved Himself over and over again until our miracle child came in the 12th year. Our hearts were and are still filled with joy and gladness at His mercy and faithfulness. Indeed “by God have we run through a troop; and by my God have I leaped over a wall”.
In Conclusion: Delay will challenge every word you have ever heard about God-directly or preached through someone. But Jehovah is greater than delay. God Himself will in mercy answer every woman still waiting. I’ve seen Him do it.
Eyitayo Adesuyi is a Lawyer with a practice based in Ibadan
[i] Hear my cry” (Hossanah Integrity),” I’ll trust you Lord” and “Wait on the Lord” ( Live in London and We all are One albums by Donnie McCurlkin), Mercy said No (Cece Winans)
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